Day 6

Today I was due to start work at 11am, however I went in for 9 so I could spend a couple of hours working on my assignment.  Considering I haven't really read any of the coursework I think I'm going to do OK on it =).

Better Day Today

Work was a lot better today, it was nice and relaxing, I got to catch up with a colleague I don't get to see very often and was able to just get on with my work.  During lunch I got to sit outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine.  The only downside was a few messages from a "friend" but we'll get to that later.

There's Only So Much I Can Do

After work I called into the shopping centre on the way home and stopped by the coffee shop for a medium cinnamon latte and a bacon and cheese toastie.  I must have sat for about an hour just chilling and people watching.  Although this isn't anything amazing and most people do it regularly, for me it's a treat.  I love just sitting back without a care and watching the world go by.

So, these messages...

I have this "friend" a person I know who is really struggling through life.  He has some health problems that is stopping him from getting on with his life.  This is causing him to lash out a lot at the people he comes in contact with.  His family have turned their backs on him, his friends have all took a step back, he has no job and is struggling to pay his way in life.

He has asked me if he can rent my spare room out but I've had to say no.  Although I want to help him and I hate seeing somebody suffer I know that would make my life a lot harder and that he is the cause of some of my problems.  However, I have let him spend a few nights here and there to keep him warm, comfortable and fed.

We got into a bit of an argument today, he believes that because I'm not in the same physical pain that he is then there is no reason for me to feel bad, that my depression isn't real and I'm not allowed to get upset over any of the bad that has happened in my life.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.  I want to help him but at the same time I know it's dragging me down.  Sometimes I feel like he can't be helped =(

Day 5

So, how did it go?

Meh...

Well today wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be but it wasn't the easiest day either.  I was working with a colleague most of us seem to have a problem with, it's nothing too bad, she's a really nice person.. just difficult to work with sometimes.

The Most Productive Part of the Day

After jumping out the bath and putting my warm, cosy pyjamas on it was time to start working on my assignment.  I have three due within the space of a month and due to work, depression and life in general I am really behind with my studying.  However, I think I've made a really good start on it =)

Day 4

A little disappointed in myself today.  I knew work was going to be a struggle due to where I was working and who I was working with and although I was determined not to spend my day complaining and my colleagues I'm afraid to say I failed miserably.

Before the Doors Opened

Before we even opened the doors to let the public in the negativity started.  There were 3 members of staff in today and all of us have been having problems with another person at work, this unfortunately makes it very difficult to not get caught up in complaining about said person.

As the day went on and more and more complaints were getting thrown around I found myself getting a bit of a stress headache and worrying about going into work tomorrow since I will be working with the person we all seem to have a problem with.

Time to Relax

After work it was time for my bath with essential oils to help me relax.  Unfortunately this didn't work as well as it usually does.  Not only am I still stressing over work tomorrow but I am still annoyed with myself for getting caught up in all the bad of the day.

Conclusion

Today I feel like I have taken a step back, however I am still determined to keep trying.  I know it will be difficult and it will take some time to get out of my bad habits and to stop letting what others say and do affect me in a negative way but I believe I have the strength to do it.

Day 3

Tired, so very tired...

Last night I got no sleep whatsoever, despite being tired I just couldn't seem to settle.  Tossing and turning all night until eventually it was time to get up for work.

Today at Work

Well work wise today wasn't so bad.  Although there was a little moaning about the way the company is being run the majority of the day was quite positive.  The weather was lovely (until I got home) and plenty of work was done.  Overall a very productive day.

Time to Relax

After collecting my dog from my parents it was time to go home and have one of my relaxing baths with essential oils.  I then got straight into my pyjamas and went to bed to read and complete todays blog entry on my laptop.

Hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight and be ready and raring to go tomorrow.