Day 6

Today I was due to start work at 11am, however I went in for 9 so I could spend a couple of hours working on my assignment.  Considering I haven't really read any of the coursework I think I'm going to do OK on it =).

Better Day Today

Work was a lot better today, it was nice and relaxing, I got to catch up with a colleague I don't get to see very often and was able to just get on with my work.  During lunch I got to sit outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine.  The only downside was a few messages from a "friend" but we'll get to that later.

There's Only So Much I Can Do

After work I called into the shopping centre on the way home and stopped by the coffee shop for a medium cinnamon latte and a bacon and cheese toastie.  I must have sat for about an hour just chilling and people watching.  Although this isn't anything amazing and most people do it regularly, for me it's a treat.  I love just sitting back without a care and watching the world go by.

So, these messages...

I have this "friend" a person I know who is really struggling through life.  He has some health problems that is stopping him from getting on with his life.  This is causing him to lash out a lot at the people he comes in contact with.  His family have turned their backs on him, his friends have all took a step back, he has no job and is struggling to pay his way in life.

He has asked me if he can rent my spare room out but I've had to say no.  Although I want to help him and I hate seeing somebody suffer I know that would make my life a lot harder and that he is the cause of some of my problems.  However, I have let him spend a few nights here and there to keep him warm, comfortable and fed.

We got into a bit of an argument today, he believes that because I'm not in the same physical pain that he is then there is no reason for me to feel bad, that my depression isn't real and I'm not allowed to get upset over any of the bad that has happened in my life.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.  I want to help him but at the same time I know it's dragging me down.  Sometimes I feel like he can't be helped =(

Day 5

So, how did it go?

Meh...

Well today wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be but it wasn't the easiest day either.  I was working with a colleague most of us seem to have a problem with, it's nothing too bad, she's a really nice person.. just difficult to work with sometimes.

The Most Productive Part of the Day

After jumping out the bath and putting my warm, cosy pyjamas on it was time to start working on my assignment.  I have three due within the space of a month and due to work, depression and life in general I am really behind with my studying.  However, I think I've made a really good start on it =)

Day 2

Very lazy day today.  I didn't get any sleep last night so spent most of the day in bed.

I completed one of my assignments towards my degree and posted it off to my tutor to be mark.  Fingers crossed I did well =0P.

After that I decided there wasn't much point in getting ready so I slipped back into my pjs and snuggled into bed to watch some more movies and listen to music.

I got an email with a link to a news website late tonight, it showed a story about an old boyfriend of mine.  It wasn't a nice story, in fact he is in a lot of trouble with the police.  However, instead of being angry, disgusted or even shocked at what was in front of me, I simply read the story and felt a sense of calm.  Definitely an improvement from somebody who would have kicked off and gossiped about it a few weeks ago.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work since I decided I was going to improve my life and I am a little nervous about it.  Although I love my job it is full of negativity.  Everyone is complaining about something (myself included), people are backstabbing each other and everybody is worried about their employment future.

However, I  am determined to stay positive!