Day 6

Today I was due to start work at 11am, however I went in for 9 so I could spend a couple of hours working on my assignment.  Considering I haven't really read any of the coursework I think I'm going to do OK on it =).

Better Day Today

Work was a lot better today, it was nice and relaxing, I got to catch up with a colleague I don't get to see very often and was able to just get on with my work.  During lunch I got to sit outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine.  The only downside was a few messages from a "friend" but we'll get to that later.

There's Only So Much I Can Do

After work I called into the shopping centre on the way home and stopped by the coffee shop for a medium cinnamon latte and a bacon and cheese toastie.  I must have sat for about an hour just chilling and people watching.  Although this isn't anything amazing and most people do it regularly, for me it's a treat.  I love just sitting back without a care and watching the world go by.

So, these messages...

I have this "friend" a person I know who is really struggling through life.  He has some health problems that is stopping him from getting on with his life.  This is causing him to lash out a lot at the people he comes in contact with.  His family have turned their backs on him, his friends have all took a step back, he has no job and is struggling to pay his way in life.

He has asked me if he can rent my spare room out but I've had to say no.  Although I want to help him and I hate seeing somebody suffer I know that would make my life a lot harder and that he is the cause of some of my problems.  However, I have let him spend a few nights here and there to keep him warm, comfortable and fed.

We got into a bit of an argument today, he believes that because I'm not in the same physical pain that he is then there is no reason for me to feel bad, that my depression isn't real and I'm not allowed to get upset over any of the bad that has happened in my life.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.  I want to help him but at the same time I know it's dragging me down.  Sometimes I feel like he can't be helped =(

Day 5

So, how did it go?

Meh...

Well today wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be but it wasn't the easiest day either.  I was working with a colleague most of us seem to have a problem with, it's nothing too bad, she's a really nice person.. just difficult to work with sometimes.

The Most Productive Part of the Day

After jumping out the bath and putting my warm, cosy pyjamas on it was time to start working on my assignment.  I have three due within the space of a month and due to work, depression and life in general I am really behind with my studying.  However, I think I've made a really good start on it =)

Day 4

A little disappointed in myself today.  I knew work was going to be a struggle due to where I was working and who I was working with and although I was determined not to spend my day complaining and my colleagues I'm afraid to say I failed miserably.

Before the Doors Opened

Before we even opened the doors to let the public in the negativity started.  There were 3 members of staff in today and all of us have been having problems with another person at work, this unfortunately makes it very difficult to not get caught up in complaining about said person.

As the day went on and more and more complaints were getting thrown around I found myself getting a bit of a stress headache and worrying about going into work tomorrow since I will be working with the person we all seem to have a problem with.

Time to Relax

After work it was time for my bath with essential oils to help me relax.  Unfortunately this didn't work as well as it usually does.  Not only am I still stressing over work tomorrow but I am still annoyed with myself for getting caught up in all the bad of the day.

Conclusion

Today I feel like I have taken a step back, however I am still determined to keep trying.  I know it will be difficult and it will take some time to get out of my bad habits and to stop letting what others say and do affect me in a negative way but I believe I have the strength to do it.

Day 3

Tired, so very tired...

Last night I got no sleep whatsoever, despite being tired I just couldn't seem to settle.  Tossing and turning all night until eventually it was time to get up for work.

Today at Work

Well work wise today wasn't so bad.  Although there was a little moaning about the way the company is being run the majority of the day was quite positive.  The weather was lovely (until I got home) and plenty of work was done.  Overall a very productive day.

Time to Relax

After collecting my dog from my parents it was time to go home and have one of my relaxing baths with essential oils.  I then got straight into my pyjamas and went to bed to read and complete todays blog entry on my laptop.

Hopefully I will get a good nights sleep tonight and be ready and raring to go tomorrow.

Day 2

Very lazy day today.  I didn't get any sleep last night so spent most of the day in bed.

I completed one of my assignments towards my degree and posted it off to my tutor to be mark.  Fingers crossed I did well =0P.

After that I decided there wasn't much point in getting ready so I slipped back into my pjs and snuggled into bed to watch some more movies and listen to music.

I got an email with a link to a news website late tonight, it showed a story about an old boyfriend of mine.  It wasn't a nice story, in fact he is in a lot of trouble with the police.  However, instead of being angry, disgusted or even shocked at what was in front of me, I simply read the story and felt a sense of calm.  Definitely an improvement from somebody who would have kicked off and gossiped about it a few weeks ago.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work since I decided I was going to improve my life and I am a little nervous about it.  Although I love my job it is full of negativity.  Everyone is complaining about something (myself included), people are backstabbing each other and everybody is worried about their employment future.

However, I  am determined to stay positive!

Day 1

Today is the first day of my journey to a better life.  After an initial shaky start I was determined to have a relaxing but productive day.

The Relaxing Side

In order to help relax and enjoy a stress free day I stayed in my flat dressed in my most comfortable clothing watching the TV shows and movies that I love the most and listening to the sound of the rain outside.

Later on in the evening I had a hot bath with essential oils.  This is the recipe I use to help relieve stress and anxiety:

Bergamot
Eucalyptus
Frankincense
Lemon

Not only do these oils give the water a "soft" feeling, the smell of the oils helps to stimulate your senses and relax your body.

Now at the end of the day, I am lying on the sofa, snuggled under a blanket, watching TV in the glow of candlelight.

The Productive Side

I am currently employed on a 0 hour contract, this means that I only work when they are short staffed.  Now that the holidays are over my work hours have seriously went down causing some financial difficulties.  Today was spent searching the internet for jobs and completing applications forms.

One of the techniques I have read regarding the law of attraction is the power of repetition.  I have Bob Proctor's "The Science of Getting Rich" seminar DVD and try to watch it as often as possible (almost daily).  The idea behind this is the more you hear the information, the more "true" it becomes to your brain so the easier it is to work your way up the ladder of success.

Another technique they suggest is to use what's known as a goal card.  The idea is you write down your goal as if it has already happened and carry the card around with you so you can look at it often.  This is because your subconscious mind takes everything literally, if it believes you have reached your goal you will feel it emotionally, this will in turn attract it to you.

I have also started putting together a vision or dream board.  A vision board is a board you cover with images that represent the things you desire in life.  If you look at your vision board at least twice a day it will help to keep you focused.

My Thoughts and Feelings

All in all I think today was a good first step.  I am feeling relaxed and confident with what I want in life.

A New Beginning...

Introduction

 

Here I am, sitting in my living room alone in my flat dreaming of a better life.

At 29 years old I have had a string of bad relationships, no real friendships, a low income job and struggling to pay my monthly bills.

Things have to change...

About a year ago somebody introduced me to Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" and the concept of the law of attraction.  After initial doubts I started doing some research of my own, I now have a small library of books dedicated to the subject, including Wallace D. Wattles "The Science of Getting Rich" and Joseph Murphy's "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind".

Despite having all this literature I have yet been unable to put any of the information into practice.  It's not due to lack of trying, however, I find with all the problems and stress of my life I can't seem to stay focused on my goals.  Therefore, I have decided to start this blog as a sort of diary, a record of my thoughts and feelings each day, hopefully, that will help me stay focused.

Tomorrow is the beginning of my new happier, healthier and wealthier life.